How are you feeling?

People have been asking me lately how I'm feeling so I decided to provide some visual illustrations. Generally I'm feeling more and more... pregnant.

• I'm heavy and shaped weird, I waddle from side to side when i walk
• I can't walk fast to catch a train, or even hop across the kitchen floor so as not to miss a so-you-think-you-can-dancer solo - and that's not really because I'm carrying around an extra 30 lbs. but it actually feels very uncomfortable in the lower belly area to move too fast or to get up suddenly
• Sitting, standing, or even laying down for too long all feel uncomfortable and achey after a while
• It's hot and humid, and there's definitely some sort of greenhouse effect in our apartment so me and the cats are all panting pathetically, I feel like a melting bowl of sticky gross jello
• Everything hurts, all the muscles from my neck on down to my heels, all my joints, hips and knees, ribs, and even my fingers and toes!!
• Still peeing freakin' constantly!
• Haven't slept well in months - between the body aches, having to prop myself up with all those darn pillows, peeing every 2-3 hours, random middle-of-the-night hunger, plus still having to get up at 7am and endure a full day of work, I feel like a zombie most of the time
• Heartburn and shallow breathing contribute to overall discomfort, as well as insatiable thirst - which obviously causes more peeing.

This baby is feeling more and more like a real baby size-wise. It's no longer just a precious little fluttery gem in the depths of my being, but an almost full-size actual baby. I can feel his strong legs and heels digging into my sides, his elbows and even fingers cascading across my womb, and especially that big ol' rump that moves from side to side as he stretches out. I don't know this for a fact but I'm pretty sure he's more active than the average fetus, I mean he's supposed to mellow out by now because of the dwindling space but I don't think he got that memo, he's kicking around in there like he's rearranging the furniture  from morning till night, and middle of the night too! I think he's starting to realize that 'hey this place is getting a little snug, I wonder if I should starting looking for a nice two bedroom downtown'.  Yes, baby, start packing! 

Now of course I'm thrilled to be having a baby and this whole experience has been enlightening and fascinating. I fully accept that with the privilege and joy of bringing a new life into the world comes a little physical distress. I think I've handled it pretty well so far, don't you? But now it's the final stretch and I'm basically just trying to hang in there until the big day. I'm tired and stressed and having to actually concentrate on keeping my energy up, which totally makes sense in preparation for labor. My midwife said that by the time this baby comes I'll be READY to release him and I'm starting to understand what that means. There's only so long that two people can share a body, and I'm starting to need my space! So please, if you see me, don't ask me how I'm feeling, just tell me turn to the side and lean forward as you rub my back and then offer me a cold glass of iced tea :)