cool baby hot mama

I'm getting a little tired of all kinds of strangers and not-so-strangers saying 'oh what a big baby' since when is everyone such an expert on newborn growth progress? Well yes indeed he continues to grow, he's smiling all the time and even laughing, and he's almost reaching out for things. He seems to be putting in all this effort to move his body towards something and of course he's not sure what to do once he gets there. He can hold on to things if you put it in his hands but he's not quite grabbing anything on his own, except of course for whatever happens to be in his way when he's flailing his arms around - like hair and glasses.

As I get closer and closer to going back to work I have a lot of mixed emotions, I miss Elliot a lot if I'm away from him for even a little while so working full time and only seeing him briefly in the evenings before he goes to sleep is going to be really hard. Plus the physical discomfort of the whole pumping thing is going to be a pain in the... boobs. How am I going to concentrate on excel spreadsheets and sales research when all I'll be thinking about is how many smiles and gurgles I'm missing? If it was financially feasible I would stay home with him for about a year, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do and now that my priorities have shifted it is for him that I will be working, sacrificing time together so that he could have a nice home and healthy food, fun toys, and weekend adventures. But I am trying to be optimistic too, I think it will be sucky for a while but once I get into a groove it will be easier, and I know Josh will be a great dad with him when I'm away. I am trying to build up the tiny voice in the back of my mind that says I miss the mental stimulation a little bit, that diapers and naps and being home all the time would only satisfy me for so long and I am some sort of career woman.
Here's an update on the body: well it's really changed in many ways, I have some extra weight which I don't really mind except that it's flabby and I have cellulite and stretchmarks. I keep trying to start exercising but who has the time? I went from wearing size 5 and extra smalls to squeezing into a size 8 and being a solid medium. I'm just glad I don't have to wear a bathing suit for a while. Oh and that darn tailbone is still a pain, I'm considering going to some post-natal physical therapy because sitting is a pretty darn common position for the human body and I'm tired of shifting uncomfortably all the time. What I do like is that this extra weight makes me feel less cold now that the autumn chill is creeping in, I used to get chilly pretty easily but now I radiate heat - that whole evolutionary protection of the young thing.