Troublemaker with a Heart of Gold

Oh man did I let too much time go by between posts, Elliot is a new man! Well into toddlerhood, he's a walking, running, jumping, trouble-making machine with a mind of his own.

If you ask him whether he wants something, he'll say 'yes, no' and whichever direction you proceed in, he wants the opposite. Seems like that's mostly due to his wanting to experience ALL the possibilities ALL the time. I wonder if that's because he's still connected with the primordial all-knowing consciousness of pre-existence and it's really our trained and brainwashed minds that must now force upon him the limits of carnal being? Or maybe that's just how the human brain develops and it's the precursor to decision-making, either or :)

Seems like every other thing I say to him is 'no, don't do that' or 'Elliot, you can't..' and sometimes he drives me crazy when he deliberately does what he shouldn't. But then he looks at me with those blue eyes, or cries MAAAAAAAHHHHHMMMMMMMAAAAAAHA, and what can I do but willingly wrap myself around his little fingers? The disciplinarian in me comes and goes. Sometimes he ignites a fire in me to teach him lessons about life, and other times I just don't have the energy to make him care about picking up all his toys and silently do it myself with full acceptance that he is, after all, a child who has little control of his impulses. Is inconsistency bad? I do the best I can. Oddly enough, Josh is the one who seriously lays down the law!

Elliot even knows how to negotiate, oh yes! When he learned what "one more" means, he cleverly decided to use that to squeeze more of whatever he wants from us. So if we say no more snacks until dinner, he'll say "1 More!" (actually he says "mere" instead of "more" for some reason), and uses that for pretty much anything we try to take away, and he always wins, because really, what's just one more? And then one more, and one more after that..

He loves Sesame Street (which really is the awesomest show ever) and the movie CARS, man does he love that movie (he loves it so much that Josh got Cars2 and the first Cars in Russian just so he'd have something new to watch). And the Lightning McQueen car from the movie is his first attachment object. He takes that thing everywhere, sleeps with it, and gets upset when it's lost.

He can count to 10, and knows a bunch of letters thought not all, and goes to pre-school for 75 minutes 3 times a week. He has already learned all the fun kid songs like itsy bitsy spider (which, when he sings it, it sounds like he's saying PT Fired UP!), twinkle twinkle little star, I'm a little teapot, and row row row your boat, which he's singing here in his own special way:

Teaching someone language from scratch is also making me realize how confusing it can be, there are so many double meanings in the english language! (park a car vs. go to the park, two/too/to, head on your neck vs. head in that direction, right direction vs. right - being correct, etc.).

He refers to himself as me (as in "me spin around" "me hungry") which is kind of funny, although at just over 2 years old he already knows how to conjugate verbs, and how to do things that make us laugh (and then say "me funny!"), such as earlier today when we tried to put him down for a nap and after a minute of silence he started yelling "water mama, water papa, me want WATER people!!" Naptime is no longer a daily occurrence (much to our dismay) but he still takes the occasional daytime snooze a few times a week.

Speaking of water, Elliot is way past complete toilet training and uses the regular toilet when he has to "peeps" or "poops"and I've even got him hooked on herbal tea. We rarely give him juice to limit the sugar he consumes since he eats lots of fruit and dried fruit for snacks. He doesn't always eat the healthy food we make but he does like kale these days, and I'm hoping he'll be so unused to processed junk food that he'll recognize it for the cardboard-tasting chemical non-food that it is when he gets introduced to it by his friends later on. I'm just happy he's eating some amount of vegetables daily, even though that variety of vegetables is often limited to avocado ("cado").

Have I mentioned that he's a... people person? This kid has no qualms about approaching strangers in any setting. When we go to restaurants and he's done eating, he likes to walk around to every table, stand in front of it looking adorable and smiling, waiting for the people to turn to him with enthusiasm and greet him, at which point he gets what he wants and runs over to the next table to get the same reaction. Is this a politician in the making? I hope not! When we passed a Hare Krishna band in Union Square recently, he first danced around in front of them, and after one of them gave him an instrument an invited him to sit, well it was all over, he joined the band and so did I for about half an hour, as the tourists watched us and clapped.

This kid is a real boy through and through, and I'm certain it was no nurturing of ours that made him that way. He loves trucks and vehicles of all kinds; he's destructive, sometimes violent, and lacking in fear; he's messy and hates cleaning up after himself; he challenges authority; always wants to explore; and is completely engrossed in tv when watching it so don't even try to talk to him during a Disney movie.

Which bring me to technology!! Holy moly how in the world do these kids figure it out so fast? He's 600 times better at it than my grandmother who has 80 years of wisdom and has witnessed the rise of the modern technological age. He can do things on an iPhone like open the camera and take a picture, or turn music on speaker with barely a touch. I'm seriously talking about things that take us at least a few clicks or swipes. And when I looked over at what I thought was him playing a game on the iPad recently, he was browsing apps!!! Kid apps! It's wild how he's 2 years and 2 months old, and without even trying we're teaching him how to interact with the technology that is the foundation for all the advanced media that will be around 20 years from now. Just goes to show that you're really doing very little teaching as a parent, you're sort of just co-existing and care-taking and they absorb everything they need to be fully functioning humans.

Oh and... we may have traumatized him a little with a recent bed bug situation. Apparently the two apartments on both sides of ours had them right before we moved in last year, and they made their way into our bed. Luckily they didn't spread anywhere else, like Elliot's bed or the couch, and we handled the situation with all the necessary measures. But he's clearly not immune to our frustrations and paranoia and occasionally talks about there being bugs around when there definitely are not. If he becomes an entomophobic adult, we'll know why :(

Despite all the crazy boyness though, this kid can be so ridiculously sweet it'll melt your heart. He loves babies and understands that they're special, he can be really affectionate and give hugs and kisses, he understands when you're sad and is more likely to listen and abide if you say it will make you happy, and he's good at playing with others and sharing (sometimes requiring the occasional reminder to do so), and yes he sometimes hugs trees (I wonder who taught him that!).

I have to admit that family life is pretty much what I expected it to be, there's lots of love, occasional yelling, and never enough quiet time, but fun as hell and I can't imagine life without my boys :)

That concludes this exceedingly long post, here are some more pics!

2nd birthday party

Daniela's wedding

Thinkin about stuff

At the zoo

Jammin with the band

Selling cookies

Drinkin carrot juice

Reading with papa

Rock climbing 

Scooting

Modeling his new sweater

Preparing for hurricane Sandy

All the things we know

This little bubbie is becoming quite the little chatterbox, here are some of the words he knows (although I'm sure I will leave some out because nearly every day he says a new one, plus he knows many more that he can point to but just hasn't felt like saying yet), here goes: yes, no, up, down, pee, wait, stop, dish, truck, batman, bus, bye, hi, book, baby, elbow, head, hat, bike, big, uh-oh, mine, shoes, fish, bear, bed, eyes, watch, pee, nine (the #), puzzle, clean, train, choo-choo, balloon, kiss, juice... oh I give up!

Elliot surprises me every day with how much he can understand and respond to. He knows what he likes, he knows when it's time for bed, he knows that he should pee in the potty and has to tell us when he has to go (because he can't quite pull his own pants up or down yet, or just doesn't want to), he knows when he did something wrong, he knows that the cats are mostly not interested in him but he still loves them, he knows how to get extra sympathy out of adults, he knows how to push our buttons, and he knows that if he looks out the bedroom window for a little while he's sure to see a BUS (his favorite thing in the world).

The thing that has been making me extra fuzzy inside lately is his affectionate nature. He loves to give kisses, and not only to people! He gives kisses to the cats, even when they're clearly trying to get away from him, he gives kisses to objects he likes, and he even gives an air kiss and waves goodbye to his poopies when we flush them down the toilet.

Then there's this toddler behavior, lining up all his cars in neat little rows, back-to-back or side-to-side. He's so proud when they're all lined up he'll call our attention to it :)

Oh and every night, after we put on pajamas, he climbs happily under the covers and waits for me to join him there to read two stories before bed.

It's incredible how I can see his true nature, from while he was still in my belly he's had this fiery energetic essence and yet such a sweetness and curiosity too. I imagine that it'll be hard for me to be surprised by what sort of person he'll be. He'll probably be athletic and focused and incredibly kind, oh now I'm just getting ahead of myself. 

With the whole hoopla of the outrage of 'Attachment Parenting' making news recently I can't help but think about what sort of parens Josh and I are. While we are certainly loving and nurturing, we are also probably less attached than some 'attached' parents. We are totally comfortable with letting him do his thing because we want him to learn to do things by himself, explore the world on his own, and develop his own way of seeing and thinking. We're always there to give love and support and teach him things, but it wouldn't be good for either of us if I, or Josh, were to be at his side constantly, doing everything for him and praising every little action. He is not an extension of us, he is a completely independent individual who happened to have come into the world through our union, but our job is not to continually create him. It is to nurture his natural growth and encourage him to learn on his own and do and be whatever he wants. The ultimate goal is a happy and healthy individual who is caring and kind towards others and his environment, and is a productive contributor to society. If we can do that, I'd say we did a pretty good job.

Bye Bye Binky

Major announcement, we are 100% completely and utterly pacifier-free!  We were a bit fearful of the withdrawal and tears that would result from taking away our precious comfort item but it was time, really. I used a little trick I read about online, which required cutting off the nipple part so that he could still hold the stub of the pacifier between his teeth but it was unsuckable and would just fall out. The first time I gave it to him he was like 'what the...?' and looked at me and said 'uh-oh!' so I played along and said 'oh no, it's broken! I don't know how this happened, let's try a different one' (which was also nipple-less) and thereby convinced him that all his pacifiers were unexpectedly damaged and he'd just have to do without them.

All it required after that was one awful naptime where Elliot cried and cried and began to hyperventilate a little before we finally gave him a real one despite our decision to 'stick to our guns'. We thought that night would bring more tears since we gave in but we thought, let's let him cry about it for a bit and see what happens. But he didn't cry at all that night! The couple of days after that were a bit cranky but he's basically gotten over it and moved on with his life. 

Speaking of which, potty training is going pretty well, thanks to papa Josh for his patience and clever tactics!

In other updates, Elliot eats kale! Ok, it's in homemade chip form, so most of the nutritious elements have perished, but still, it's kale!! AND he likes to snack on raw carrot sticks these days! Like a true organic baby making his Health Counseling mama proud :)

Next stop: toddlerhood

For anyone who might think that Elliot is still a baby, we've got news for you, he has definitely entered toddlerhood! Not only is he running around causing all sorts of trouble, but he's starting to show his dissatisfaction when he doesn't get what he wants by whining, crying, and making his body go limp (he especially likes to 'plank') when he'd rather be carried than walk. Oh yes, the terrible two's are approaching!

Mostly, it's pretty fun. He's starting to say more and more almost-words and generally do more funny things like spinning, gesturing, and emulating what we do. Man, it's fun having a kid. I mean, sure it's exhausting, especially with this particular wild child, but it sure makes every day more charged with life :)

We're also starting to potty train and he's been pretty good at going in the potty, although sometimes he gives us a sign that he wants to go and then when he gets on it he doesn't go. Sometimes he sits on it backwards. Sometimes he cries just at the sight of it if he's not in the mood. And sometimes he actually just goes and then says bye-bye as we flush the pee down the toilet. Now we just have to teach him how to hold it and use toilet paper.



Yesterday, I had the day off and we got an early start to our family fun day because SOMEbody decided to get up at 6am and not go back to sleep. It worked out well though because it made the day seem longer when we went out to lunch, and then to the Museum of Natural History where Elliot very efficiently ran from one display to another. He's not one of those boring people who pretend to read the description, oh no siree bob, he just comes along and goes 'ahhhh' and then just as quickly runs along to the next one. The true highlight of the day was down in the marine life area, on the kid floor beneath the giant whale where there was an adorable little girl named Eden who was running around in circles and enticed Elliot to do the same. They ran around like a couple of electrons, then did some weird yoga stretches, then hugged and kissed, and then ran around some more. It was pure entertainment.

I don't know how or why but boys naturally take to violence. My mother opened these water guns and went 'pew pew' once and from then on he's been shooting up the whole house! He's shot me multiple times, although he now knows that he has to bring me back to life with a kiss after doing so. And he picks up other objects, aims them and makes the shooting noise too! Why is this so natural?

Happy Valentine's Day bubbie, I love you!

Elliot's first symphony

A special treat from our little composer :)