Sick Day

Well it was bound to happen eventually and I'm glad it didn't happen when he was younger, but Elliot had a sick day today. He woke up completely drenched with sweat and with a high fever and occasional cough, but otherwise he was active and hungry and I was concerned but not worried. He basically behaved the way any person would: he slept a lot - in short 20-30 snoozes - and was whiney when he was awake, and mostly just wanted to be held the entire day and that's exactly what I did (Josh was on his way home from the big tour). He fell asleep in my arms several times and actually that was really tender and sweet and I enjoyed it because, as previously mentioned, he's so active and wiggly that those calm content moments are a treat.

 I happen to have had some chicken broth because my mom visited recently and had made soup so I fed him that with some crumbled bread mixed in and he enjoyed it, he also ate some yogurt, banana, carrots with string beans, baked squash, and boobmilk of course. A testament to his appetite which is strong even under conditions of illness. I tried several times to make him smile when he was awake but he wasn't in the mood until the end of the day when the fever went down a little and I finally got some chuckles. What a real person he is, I could really tell that he just felt crummy and I felt bad for the little guy.

 I wonder what caused it, I did have a friend visit the night before who works with kids, and the day before that he took a long trip on the subway, or it could be an unrelated baby-growing thing. Who knows, all that matters is that he seemed better at the end of the day and now he's snoring away - I just hope he's not wide awake at 2am because he slept so much all day! Two days ago I happen to have scheduled a doctor's appointment for him for tomorrow to check on his eyes which may need a bit of lazy correction, so if he's still sick we'll see what the doctor says, although I have a feeling all he'll need is a second helping of my certified TLC :)

Come to my crib

Very exciting news, we finally got a real crib! Our co-sleeping days are over. Here are the reasons this is good:

• Elliot was pulling himself up in the co-sleeper and could fall over, so we always had to make sure he was asleep before leaving the room with him in there. Now we can do the sleepy time routine and put him to bed and leave the room even if he's still squirming and whining a little. He'll put himself to sleep eventually and that frees up precious evening time.
• This bed is much bigger, Elliot is sort of a 'sleep swimmer' so he likes to move himself upwards in his sleep and keep trying to move upwards even when the top of his head is pressed up against the bed edge, now he has more space (although still he nestles right up in the corner in the new bed).
• The co-sleeper as it was pressed up against our bed left a very narrow space to walk through to get to the windows and dresser and the new bed is pushed up agains the wall so there's space between our beds to make the room feel a little more free.

Here's why the new crib will take some getting used to:

• When Elliot woke up on the night, it was pretty darn convenient to just reach over the edge of my bed and soothe him back to sleep without getting up, can't do that anymore... that's really the only reason.

This kid, I tell ya, he's a handful. He never likes to sit still, it's such a rare moment that you could hold him in your arms and he'll just rest peacefully awake and content. He's always squirming, kicking, reaching out for things, grunting, trying to climb on top of you, grabbing, chewing, pulling, crawling, slapping at surfaces, and attempting to do things. Of course this is not a bad thing, it's just the way he is, an adventurer, an explorer, a getter-into-things he shouldn't get into. Watch out for this one world!

Oh, also, he's found it. You know... it. Yep, he likes to give himself a squeeze when it's diaper time right before he puts his toes in his mouth. Oh the wonders of self exploration!

He's a funny guy

Elliot is really at a fun age now, he's so much more responsive and engaging, he has incredible tenacity and curiosity, and he's just a happy little guy who's always interested in stuff. He's leveling out in terms of growth, just as mama had predicted, and he only gained one pound in the last month, which we don't mind at all because carrying around a 20-pounder is still quite a weight. He is mid-sippy-cup-transition and it's very cute to see him tilting his bottle with both hands like he's all grown up.

Here's some other funny stuff he does:

• When it comes to pacifier manipulation he's got it down, he can find that thing at the bottom of a mound of toys or ruffled blankets. He finds it when he wakes up from sleeping, but doesn't really wake up, and groggily shoves it in his mouth multiple times the wrong way until he finally inserts the nipple side in properly, then sucks so happily it makes me long for the simplicity of innocence. He even (when we're lucky) puts it in his mouth when he gets cranky and knows we don't want to hear it! (ok, he only did that once but it was the best self-shut-upping ever!)
• He loves to wave his hands in the air like he just don't care when he's zooming around in his walker, plus the little sound board attached to the front tray makes all sorts of funny noises that are sort of his sound track so that when he sees you coming he cackles and waves his arms and makes a boingboing sound as he wheels himself towards you.
• He is a twister, lately he just doesn't have the patience or time of day to get his diaper changed and simply won't lay still. He'll tilt his head back as leverage and flip his leg over super quick and start crawling away with his bare tush in the air and the nearest grippable object already in his little hand, and consequently in his mouth. If you flip him on his back again he'll just do it again and again quicker than you can slap that diaper on, it's becoming the first real opportunity to assert myself as a parent. I flip him and sternly say 'Elliot, stop' and he seems to understand for a milli-second before he laughs and flips again leaving me to eat my words.

We ordered a real crib this week and I'm going to miss the co-sleeper that has served us so well - especially since Elliot is still not quite sleeping through the night and sometimes need a little TLC/turn on the music box in the middle of the night, which is easier to do without having to get up. But we can't leave him in that bed unattended anymore unless we're absolutely sure he's asleep because he can pull himself up and tries to climb over it now. It's time for a big baby bed. The real hard part is finding space for it though, we had to really put our tetris skills to the test for this one but we are going to make it work and keep the crib in the bedroom. It's definitely time for a bigger place now and we're going to move this summer into a real two-bedroom. 

I'm also really looking forward to Spring and Summer now. We've been cooped up in the apartment for a while since it's been cold, even though we still take him outside all bundled up as often as possible, so the prospect of sunshine and warm days and exploring the outside world as he engages more and more is so exciting. I keep seeing a vision of him running in tall fresh grass and it instantly calms my  crowded mind and makes me happy. And going to the beach! Oh I just can't wait :)

In other baby news

Oh just had to share this, my half-sister Paulina, Elliot's Aunt!

Yummy Tummy

Balancing work and motherhood sure ain't easy, oh no. My mind is an endless to-do list, my body is still in recovery - actually that damn tailbone problem is not only NOT getting better but now I'm having serious back issues as well - and my home is a mess because there's too much stuff and not enough space and because I don't have nearly as much time to keep it as clean and organized as I'd like. But what can I say, que sera sera, I'm learning to ignore the chaos that surrounds me and expand the stillness of being present when I have those rare moments with Elliot when he's not crying, or trying to eat the computer wires, or pooping, or vomiting on me, those special moments when he just looks at me as if I am so incredibly interesting and laughs with a cackling gurgle like I just told the joke of the century.

I definitely have a lot of mommy guilt because of the whole working and leaving him every day thing, especially when Josh tells me some basic thing about taking care of him as if I'm some stranger. But I make up for it by making sure he has wholesome homemade baby food always at the ready to supplement my milk when I'm not there. He is about to turn 6 months this week (!!) and has already tried potatoes, sweet potatoes, zucchini, carrots, rice cereal (that stuff in a box is awful compared to real rice grain), bananas, peas, and crackers. Tonight I made him a yummy batch of baked butternut squash with apple (in mush form of course) and I have to say it tastes freakin' delicious and I'm going to remember that recipe for the next time I go to a pot-luck!

He's getting better at eating real food too, most of it ends up in his belly instead of on his face, and he looks so cute when the spoon approaches and he opens his mouth with calm anticipation ready for the next bite.
Have I mentioned that we're teaching him sign language? Well, 'teaching' is not the right word, we just sign certain words to him at the appropriate times so that he learns them. So far we have been using the signs for mommy, daddy, up, change + diaper, drink, water, book, sleep, quiet, cat, and dirty. The idea is that with repetition he'll be able to start using the signs to communicate as soon as his hand coordination catches up with his brain, usually most babies start doing it by around 8 months.

             Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting Zora!

He's on the move!

Well, we knew it was only a matter of time, he's had belly time since he was a day old and has been shimmying and rotating for a while now. He even moves sideways if he's on a smooth surface... like a crab. But my little guy is crawling already! I admit it, I let loose a tear when I saw him really moving for the first time, it's really an amazing thing how it's the natural human sense of curiosity that propels our progress. I mean, he just wants to reach and touch (and put in his mouth) everything that he sees and there's only so many things that we bring to him so he decided 'well if I'm gonna get that remote control in my mouth I'd better go over there and get it myself!' I respect his independent spirit, but why does he have to grow up so darn fast?
It doesn't look like he's moving that quick in the video but let me tell ya, we have to watch him constantly now because if I turn away for just a second he's already at the shoerack reaching for daddy's muddy snow boots. Things just got a lot more fun (meaning exhausting for us of course, this kid just won't stay put!).

The Drools of Survival

Yeah I know it's been a while, sorry, I've been busy, so far 2011 is off to a hectic start. Baby Elliot is doing fantastic of course, but mama is struggling to keep her sanity because my job has been demanding lately and my body feels run down and lacking in energy beyond the basics of surviving until the next day. Lets talk Elliot updates. Well as I had predicted he's leveling out a little in terms of growing, he's 19lbs now so he's not growing as fast as he was before but that's ok because he was in the 99th freakin' percentile so now he still looks like an 8 month old at 5 months but maybe he'll stay looking like that more or less for the next few months.

 He's got two teeth now on the bottom and he's eating real food - meaning mushy versions of real food of course - and he's doing much better at the whole swallowing without getting it all over his face thing. And let me tell ya, he loves it! No matter how much he gets it's never enough. And he's really interested in what we are eating too, to the point of getting cranky and reaching out for our plates while sticking his tongue out. At this rate I don't think I'll be nursing him for nearly as long as I had expected. He's just a big growing boy and I gotta listen when he says 'mama, it's been real, but I need some serious hearty food now'. And making baby food is actually pretty easy: steam it, mash it, freeze it. Since we're still doing one food at a time he's only had potatoes, rice cereal, and zucchini for now but he's about to try carrots this week and then maybe we'll start doing some combinations. In a way, I wasn't prepared for this food transition to happen so fast but he wants it and his body needs it so I gotta go with the flow. The more he eats real food though, the less he'll be nursing so my milk production will begin to decrease. On the one hand it'll be great to not have the discomfort of engorgement and the inconvenience of pumping at work but I'll definitely miss the connection and closeness that it brings. My giant baby is all grown up!

He's also really grabby these days, he so wants to touch (and put in his mouth) anything that is within reach. Toys are nice but he wants the remote, the lotion tube, the candy box, your finger, the cat's tail, and the magazines. It's still too early for crawling but he's like a caterpillar, he can shimmy himself and rotate and really get pretty far these days so it's getting to be unadvisable to turn away lest he begins to nibble on the computer plugs and dirty footwear. We're going to get babyproofin' real soon.

Sleepwise, we're still trying to figure him out. He's sleeping through the night but it depends on when you consider the night to be over, he's basically waking up at 5:30-6 every morning. And he really doesn't like sleeping during the day. He'll sleep for an hour at the most but generally loves to fool us by taking very short snoozes. Just when we think 'ah, he's finally asleep' and start to do something that needs doing he'll wake up 10 or 20 minutes later ready for action. He's like the energizer baby!
As far as me, I'm pretty exhausted all the time I ain't gonna lie. I'm doing more and more work at home at night and on weekends, I'm spending as much time with Elliot as I can, doing house chores and shopping, making baby food, NOT doing the physical therapy exercises i'm supposed to be doing, basically i'm a to-do list that never ends. I'm like a robot that goes from one task to another all day long and at the end of the day I power down for a few precious hours of sleep before the cycle begins anew. But I tell myself that this is the way it's supposed to be when you have a baby and i'm just living my life as it is now, it's definitely tiring but i'm balancing a career and a baby and i even manage to see my friends once in a while so that's pretty good.